From Burnout to Breakthrough | Lifesigns Magazine

I’m so overwhelmed,

I feel like I’m breaking.

A part of me has died

and I need it awakened.

Spirit, revive,

I need to be shaken.

I know I’m alive,

but I’m barely breathing.

If you’ve ever been in a season of burnout, you can probably feel these lyrics to your core. These lyrics are from the first verse of a song that I wrote about five or six years ago. I remember it so clearly. I was in the shower with soap running down my face, just trying to get a moment of peace, when I just started singing what I felt. The words came out so quickly that I rushed to get out of the shower without the soap burning my eyes so that I could write them down. At this time in my life, the shower or the laundry room were the only places that I heard from God. Maybe it’s because it is the only place that was quiet, having two young kids at home 24 hours a day.

It’s hard to believe that I felt this way. I was living my dream job: being a stay-at-home wife and mother. I remember when I wished and I prayed just to be home with my son, when I’d give anything just to quit the 60-hour-a-week job that kept me from my family. Now, years later, God had not only answered my prayer to be home, but he also gave me a daughter to be home with as well. I’d been home for nearly ten years by this time and those answered prayers had all but faded from my mind. I was knee deep in homeschool and bills, and I resented the family that I prayed to stay home with.

You see… bitterness doesn’t just spring up overnight; no, it’s gradual. It needs time to take root. My bitterness had been building for years. At that moment in my shower, I thought my family was my opposition. I resented my husband and my kids. To be honest, I didn’t like myself too much either. I hated this screaming monster that I had become. I told my family that MOM was just an acronym for “Maid Of Many” because that’s how I felt. I felt like I was just the maid of the home, an underpaid, underappreciated, servant. I resented how my husband could leave his job, yet my job was 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I word-cursed my family and threatened to divorce my husband constantly. There were days where I just wished God would take me. I was miserable and a mess, but God.

God didn’t leave me in my mess. He met me there amidst my shame, anger, and bitterness. He sought me and eventually He healed me. He healed my family. Oh, how thankful I am that God didn’t leave me in my brokenness, but it took intentionality on my part to get out of it. First, I had to spend time with Him. This meant I couldn’t go to my best friend for advice until I went to Him first. Matthew 6:33 says, “But first and most importantly seek His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you also.” God was never meant to be an afterthought, something we just fit into our lives. He was meant to be the source we build our life around. Quiet time with God is a vital necessity to our everyday life. It’s the fuel we need to keep going throughout the day. Quiet time could mean reading your Bible, worshiping, or praying, or sometimes all three. Don’t overthink it. Just spend time with God and don’t feel guilty if you can’t get it all done. There’s a theory that says it takes 21 days to develop a habit. So, let’s try to make a habit of spending time with God.

The next thing, if you are overwhelmed, NO is your most powerful word. Just say NO. Yes, you can even say no to good things. Say no to volunteering to cook that meal or coach your son’s soccer team. Say no to friends and family that try to get you to take on their problems. Put your phone on silent and just breathe.

Now I’m not saying to isolate. You need people, but you need the right people. One of my biggest problems was that I was a people-pleaser. I got my identity from the friends I had. I preferred quantity over quality. I was so busy sowing into other people that my family just got the leftover version of me. God never intended for it to be like that.

If you are experiencing burnout, you may be out of alignment just like I was. Remember: God first, then your family. The enemy would like you to put your family on the backburner, because he knows the damage that you will cause to his camp once you start really sharpening those arrows that the Lord gave you. Those arrows are your kids and your spouse. It is now six years later, and I can see the threat my family is to the enemy’s camp. My husband and I are sharpening each other and our children. My family is on fire for Jesus. My family is a testimony of God’s grace. But it started with me.

I know both men and women will likely read this, but I want to speak to the ladies for a minute. Ladies, we set the thermostat for our home spiritually. If the enemy can keep us entrapped in his schemes, if he can keep us bitter and broken, if he can burn us out, then he can take us out. And when he takes us out, he takes our family down with us. But we must be wise to his schemes. We must rise up and fight back. We must uproot the root of bitterness. We must love our families well. Woman of God, Man of God, I am calling you to fight for your family right now and that means fighting for you.

If you are in burnout, I encourage you to read the book “Boundaries” by Henry Cloud. A lot of burnout comes from lack of boundaries. I encourage you to talk to a trusted friend or counselor about what you are feeling. I want to lift the shame off you right now. If you are in burnout, we’ve all been there; but there is a way out, and it is through abiding in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I promise you, if you seek Him, you will find Him.

The enemy wants to keep you in burnout so that you can’t fulfill the call that God has placed on your life, so your family can’t fulfill the call that God has placed on their life. But you, my friend, are now on to his schemes, and you are ready to fight back. So rise up, woman of God. Stand firm, man of God. Be encouraged that this is only a season, and that Daddy God is for you. There is a reason you are reading this article right this very moment and that’s because God’s not done with you yet. May the refreshing of Daddy God overflow you this very moment and give you every strategy that you need to fight the good fight. Keep on keeping on, friend, for this too shall pass.